Okay, so…if you don’t remember InHumaniods, you’re too young for me to be friends with, or old enough to loan me money.  But when I was a kid, for a few months, nothing meant more to me than InHumanoids.

Take a look-

How could you NOT love that stuff.  I barely remember it, but I had all the hero figures when I was a kid, and one of the vehicles.  They were insanely detailed dudes in robot suits, and each one had it’s own ‘action’.  There were also 3 big plastic hunks of glory…also known as the ‘bad guys’.  The problem was that Mom at the time was on a ‘born-again’ kick (it was the ’80’s) and the Villains were…well…check this out-

…Satan.  That’s a giant Satan figure.  There’s no way around it.  It’s a giant Satan that lives at the center of the Earth.  Makes Cobra Commander look like a My Little Pony.  So yeah, no way was I getting a giant plastic Satan toy.

As if that wasn’t bad enough-

A giant killer bird-skeleton-man that stored you in his chest cavity and slowly sucked away your life-energy.  Like, no shit.  That’s freaking terrifying.

Did I mention the Lovecraftian tentacle-rape monster?  Seriously?

How could any self-respecting 9 year old NOT want those freaking things.  And how could any Mother who cared for their child GIVE it to him?  I mean, the tagline for the whole thing is ‘The Evil That Lies Within!’  Sweet Jesus, that’s an awesome thing to sell to kids!

Oh the sorrow… I’ll never have these again.  You know, I don’t even know if this show has even made it onto DVD yet…I could be watching and lusting after these guys right now in Hi-def!

Gotta run to the DVD emporium!

-alex fugazi